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ƒrosty
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Postby ƒrosty » Thu Jul 11, 2013 12:01 am

Spaced Ape wrote:If you say so, buddy. You sound more pretentious than anything. If I met you on the street and you started talking like this, I'd probably move on pretty quickly.
Yeah? :| You know, this really pisses me off. I'm not angry at you, but why the fuck can't I share an internal discourse about self-identity without looking like a snob? Are these thoughts that unrelatable? Am I just a stupid kid? Please, let me know.

If you're not looking for answers, to me then it sounds like you're looking for attention. Which I can sympathize, you probably don't get much contact with people.
Well it's not like anything else is going on in GD these days. I never gave a shit about what direction this thread took. hello everybody The only thing I know how to start a conversation with is my own bullshit.

ERQ wrote:My advice ... the world is a joke .. we all know it so just go out there and have FUN !!!! There must be hobbies or interests that make you forget everything else .. do them !!!

Yeah, I get that. The problem is, everything is the same joke; everything blends together. FUN!!! takes a skill or level of effort I'm either too incapable or ignorant to apply. I don't feel angry or depressed; it's like someone took a ice-cream scoop to my soul.
[/somebullshit]

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Spaced Ape
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Postby Spaced Ape » Thu Jul 11, 2013 5:39 am

ƒrosty wrote:Yeah? :| You know, this really pisses me off. I'm not angry at you, but why the fuck can't I share an internal discourse about self-identity without looking like a snob? Are these thoughts that unrelatable? Am I just a stupid kid? Please, let me know.


I just don't know what you're getting at. Its like the conversation with what's her face I had in the Garbage Dump about her not having feelings for a guy whilst she's fucking him. You're so caught up with this idea that you have no self that you're convinced its true. Well, it fuckin' ain't. I've seen people with no personalities, because they're fuckin' brain dead. It goes back to Descartes: "I think, therefor I am".

You're not a snob. You're just coming to terms with what most everyone on the planet with half a brain has come to realize when growing up. We ain't shit, life ain't shit, so smoke 'em if you got 'em.

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT. YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE.

There's a reason people say this shit all the time, because its the god damn truth. So either get busy livin', or get busy dyin'.
Is there a promised land
Or am I on the journey going to nowhere?
Are the streets paved with gold
Or am I slipping on the mold that slowly grows there?
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Guitar_clock
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Postby Guitar_clock » Thu Jul 11, 2013 6:01 am

Hear hear.

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Postby ƒrosty » Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:30 pm

Spaced Ape wrote:LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT. YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE.
Yeah I get all this shit. Telling me over isn't driving the point home. So who do I choose to be? I don't have any inclinations to start with. Imagine that your reward circuit didn't get triggered by anything other than basic survival functions, and then choose a hobby.
[/somebullshit]

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Guitar_clock
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Postby Guitar_clock » Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:35 pm

Well, for one thing, you're writing to us, so there must be some reward mechanism involved with either writing or with making connections with other humans.

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Spaced Ape
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Postby Spaced Ape » Thu Jul 11, 2013 5:43 pm

No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Is there a promised land

Or am I on the journey going to nowhere?

Are the streets paved with gold

Or am I slipping on the mold that slowly grows there?

DevilDriver - Monsters of the Deep

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Postby ƒrosty » Thu Jul 11, 2013 7:03 pm

I think the ability to consistently experience pleasure is largely taken for granted.

Nevermind. Signing off.
[/somebullshit]

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Postby evilredqueen » Thu Jul 11, 2013 8:04 pm

You're just coming to terms with what most everyone on the planet with half a brain has come to realize when growing up. We ain't shit, life ain't shit, so smoke 'em if you got 'em.

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT. YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE.


I find it very difficult to believe that you don't have hobbies or other activities or interests that can take you out of this world for a while ... and i don't mean drugs.

You are a smart cookie ... write a book. Never know, you may end up rich :)
Zyn wrote:Because God knows ERQ has always been a font of sensible and well-supported opinions.

Voly wrote:ASSASSINATE ALL THEM GOT-DAMN NIGGER SYMPATHIZERS


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Postby Azgarth » Fri Jul 12, 2013 2:22 pm

Frost, so force the issue. Dope up.
Yeah, it'll probably fuck your future if you'll take the stuff actually makes you feel anything, but how's that a problem?
Either you don't feel much of anything, be apathetic and inert, in which case it won't matter. Or you'll feel like shit, and you have something you can improve, lending you a clear direction where to go next.
Music over Matter

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Postby ƒrosty » Wed Jul 17, 2013 6:30 am

Guitar_clock wrote:I think you should probably go see a shrink, Frost-o.
Psyche says it sounds like childhood onset manic depression, which often includes, in addition to the usual stuff (also applicable), a persistent sense of disassociation from one's own life and species. How tidy!
[/somebullshit]

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Postby evilredqueen » Thu Jul 18, 2013 5:12 am

Hmmm .. on second thought maybe you should pop a few vikes a day for a while .... sounds better than where you are. :)


I did find that link most interesting ... good food for thought
Zyn wrote:Because God knows ERQ has always been a font of sensible and well-supported opinions.

Voly wrote:ASSASSINATE ALL THEM GOT-DAMN NIGGER SYMPATHIZERS


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Postby ƒrosty » Sun Jul 21, 2013 5:36 am

eeehehe... if I have my hands on some oxy or vikes... bad mojo, man; too delicious.
[/somebullshit]

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Postby evilredqueen » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:17 pm

^^ Ya but then you dont give a fuck so how worse could that be ?? Seems like you dont give a fuck as it is.
Zyn wrote:Because God knows ERQ has always been a font of sensible and well-supported opinions.

Voly wrote:ASSASSINATE ALL THEM GOT-DAMN NIGGER SYMPATHIZERS


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Postby ƒrosty » Sat Jul 27, 2013 1:33 am

At least. as is, there's a chance of improvement.
[/somebullshit]

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Postby evilredqueen » Sat Jul 27, 2013 2:31 pm

I hear ya .... wishing you luck.
Zyn wrote:Because God knows ERQ has always been a font of sensible and well-supported opinions.

Voly wrote:ASSASSINATE ALL THEM GOT-DAMN NIGGER SYMPATHIZERS


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Postby Elen Sila » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:19 am

At the age of nineteen, I suddenly found myself existentially adrift. I had earthly desires and aspirations; but their lack of cosmic significance made their arbitrariness too blindingly obvious for me to stick to any of them for very long.

In February of 2011, it all came to a head. I found myself breaking down into tears in the parking lot of a Barnes And Noble. Within fifteen minutes after I managed to stop blubbering, I had spontaneously listed out a set of goals, all of which were arbitrarily chosen on a whim, with the only criterion being that I was capable of doing them, and would probably mildly enjoy them. I then swore to myself a blood oath to accomplish those goals.

My entire life now runs on that blood oath to my past self. I am no longer capable of questioning the usefulness of anything I do in pursuit of the fulfilment of that blood oath. It is my driving force. It has motivated me to return to college, get good grades for the first time in my life, have a job every summer, sell my plasma twice every week, never skipping, and to retain hopefulness for my future success in life.

I cannot say that this solution will be right for you, Forrest; but it worked for me. And that's all I can tell you.
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Voly wrote:Do you reproduce by budding? Because if so, I'm so selling you to science.


____

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Postby ƒrosty » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:30 am

I get that my life isn't the problem. I can't solve this by improving my surroundings. I cannot strive for a better life; I must become the better person who would have a better life by virtue of who he is. Thus, all that is left to do is decide who I will be, because I don't believe I can delude myself with purpose, nor do I think I can stay true to arbitrary goals. My emotions are the driving force behind my actions, but as they are, my emotions are either wildly inappropriate or I've checked out and they don't register, despite my continued feeling.

um

I don't think I've had that emotional break yet. My talk with the psychologist today concluded on the note that there are two primary possibilities for me (the symptoms more or less equally represent both):

1.) My life is virtually devoid of adequate intellectual stimulation and I am profoundly bored (her words). My inappropriate or nonexistent emotional reactions should stabilize the more physically aware and existentially present I train myself to become.
2.) The steady progression of my dissociation is indicative of a genetic predisposition to this condition, and the proper regiment of medications will be a nightmare to hammer out, likely just ending in a psychotic break.
[/somebullshit]

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Postby ƒrosty » Wed Aug 21, 2013 6:35 pm

I feel the same as I did when I was four years old. Forrest is a puppetted sack of guts for the same little boy I've always been. I keep faking it and pretending and blending in with the 'adults'... but I can't keep this up. I don't know how to live this adult human life. I'm in camouflage with every last individual I meet... I just want to let go of the strings, but then what?
[/somebullshit]

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Postby evilredqueen » Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:41 pm

You don't have to pretend to be anyone .. ever !!! Why not just be true to yourself and fuck everybody else?
Zyn wrote:Because God knows ERQ has always been a font of sensible and well-supported opinions.

Voly wrote:ASSASSINATE ALL THEM GOT-DAMN NIGGER SYMPATHIZERS


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Postby Guitar_clock » Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:17 am

Can we switch the topic back to ERQ being a catfish, we never really got to the bottom of that

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Postby evilredqueen » Thu Aug 22, 2013 6:01 pm

Image
Zyn wrote:Because God knows ERQ has always been a font of sensible and well-supported opinions.

Voly wrote:ASSASSINATE ALL THEM GOT-DAMN NIGGER SYMPATHIZERS



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