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Legends

Postby Amy18048 » Fri Mar 12, 2004 12:36 pm

Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life.

One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DeLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain.

It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard.

In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe.

Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound.

Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth.

The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace.

If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci's death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor.

It is believed by police that two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive physical pleasure.

At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub.

The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag.

Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobsters' tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters.

The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's vagina when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period.

Doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Overnight the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes!!!

You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.........
Last edited by Amy18048 on Fri Apr 16, 2004 3:02 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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Postby Dante » Fri Mar 12, 2004 9:39 pm

that's....scary
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Postby Holly » Fri Mar 12, 2004 10:15 pm

Kinky. Bet she won't do that again.

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Postby Spaced Ape » Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:45 pm

it's fake. the womb would be WAY too warm to keep the eggs alive. Even if it was possible (its not), What idiot would pleasure themselves with a fucking lobster and then set them on fire!?
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Postby Syn » Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:39 am

It could be possible..but they added humor to it.

Without the humor it'd be more believable.
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Postby Spaced Ape » Sat Mar 13, 2004 4:46 am

no possible....whole pH thing wrong
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Postby Holly » Sat Mar 13, 2004 5:09 am

Good ol' fashioned urban legend. Fun to hear, as long as you don't think into them too much. But how many of them are actually true? Not a whole lot...and the ones that could easily be true ("masterbating with a frozen hotdog, and it gets stuck...ER trip" for example) have fairly big plot wholes (she so could've gotten that out...).


And why the hell would you masterbate with a lobster? That sounds like a bad crabs joke :?

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Postby Syn » Sat Mar 13, 2004 5:09 am

Darklire wrote:no possible....whole pH thing wrong


Oh, Well I'm sorry...

Apparently you know more than me when it comes to women. o_o;
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Postby Holly » Sat Mar 13, 2004 5:14 am

I'd also like to point out that lobsters tend to be damn expensive, so if she was going to buy that thing, she damn well better eat it! :?

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Postby Amy18048 » Sat Mar 13, 2004 9:12 pm

Have anyone heared a legend called: FINGER LICKING GOOD?
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Postby Spaced Ape » Sat Mar 13, 2004 11:14 pm

I thought that was funny cheese doodles!
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Postby Raziel » Sun Mar 14, 2004 5:06 am

That is...just freakishly wrong...um, i have a question tho...how could she hold a lighter under the lobster's face if she was lying in the tub? of course the tub couldve been empty but...just a thought...lol, i wouldve loved to have seen the look on the med's face tho...
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Postby Amy18048 » Sun Mar 14, 2004 6:12 pm

Urban Legend Finger Lickng Good! ("Can this Really Happen to anyone"?)

There was this story of a girl who was left at home while her parents went out of town for the night. They instructed her to close all the doors and all the windows. She didn't mind cause afterall.. she had her pet golden retriever with her. So, after doing so... she lies on her bed and looks at her clock. It reads 11:31pm. Quite uneasy at being alone she lets her hand hang on the side for he pet dog to lick and she's comforted... Later on she is woken by a dripping noise from the bathroom she looks at her clock -- 2:14 it reads. She thinks.. I didn't leave the faucet on.. she's too groggy and scared to get up.. so again.. she let her dog lick her hand.. then she sleeps... Again she wakes up as she see's the headlights of her parent's car pull into the driveway.. she looks at her clock. It reads 3:01 so she goes to the bathroom to check out the dripping noise and when she turns on the light.. she's horrified to see her dog all cut up, blood dripping and all hanging on the shower curtain rod and a pool of blood is found below. She is frantic and goes to the side of the bed where she let her dog lick her hand and all that is there is a piece of paper written on with blood "Humans can lick too my dear"
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Postby Holly » Mon Mar 15, 2004 7:14 am

Oh yeah, I remember that one. My friend's older brother told me that when I was six or seven...scared me shitless. Only it was an old lady, and he put it in the ceiling rafters above her bed, so it was dripping on her.

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Postby Spaced Ape » Mon Mar 15, 2004 7:36 am

Holly wrote:Oh yeah, I remember that one. My friend's older brother told me that when I was six or seven...scared me shitless. Only it was an old lady, and he put it in the ceiling rafters above her bed, so it was dripping on her.


I like that one better
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Postby Amy18048 » Tue Mar 30, 2004 12:29 pm

A legend about Taco Bell (Ture or False)??????

This girl was really in a hurry one day so she just stopped off at a Taco Bell and got a Chicken soft taco and ate it on the way home. That night she noticed her jaw was kind of tight and swollen. The next day it was a little worse so she went to her doctor. He said she just had an allergic reaction to something and gave her some cream to rub on her jaw to help.

After a couple of days the swelling had just gotten worse and she could hardly move her jaw. She went back to her doctor to see what was wrong. Her doctor had no idea so he started to run some tests. They scrubbed out the inside of her mouth to get tissue samples and they also took some saliva samples. Well, they found out what was wrong. Apparently her chicken soft taco had a pregnant roach in it, then she ate it-the eggs then some how got into her saliva glands and well, she was incubating them. They had to remove a couple a layers of her inner mouth to get all the eggs out. If they hadn't figured out what was going on, the eggs would have hatched inside the lining of her mouth!!!

She's suing Taco Bell! Of course. If you need to find out more about this, it's in the Nov. 9th NY Times. If you still want Taco Bell after this one,you're really brave.
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Postby Qonfused » Tue Mar 30, 2004 12:54 pm

fast food is the source of all evil.
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Postby Syn » Tue Mar 30, 2004 7:35 pm

Amy18048 wrote:A legend about Taco Bell (Ture or False)??????

This girl was really in a hurry one day so she just stopped off at a Taco Bell and got a Chicken soft taco and ate it on the way home. That night she noticed her jaw was kind of tight and swollen. The next day it was a little worse so she went to her doctor. He said she just had an allergic reaction to something and gave her some cream to rub on her jaw to help.

After a couple of days the swelling had just gotten worse and she could hardly move her jaw. She went back to her doctor to see what was wrong. Her doctor had no idea so he started to run some tests. They scrubbed out the inside of her mouth to get tissue samples and they also took some saliva samples. Well, they found out what was wrong. Apparently her chicken soft taco had a pregnant roach in it, then she ate it-the eggs then some how got into her saliva glands and well, she was incubating them. They had to remove a couple a layers of her inner mouth to get all the eggs out. If they hadn't figured out what was going on, the eggs would have hatched inside the lining of her mouth!!!

She's suing Taco Bell! Of course. If you need to find out more about this, it's in the Nov. 9th NY Times. If you still want Taco Bell after this one,you're really brave.


I heard that during my freshman year of HS (apparently the girl who was telling us about it knew the girl) r.r
I can understand coackroach eggs in the food but..not the hatching that would go along with it. That gives me the creeps. Coackroaches are the bugs that I dislike the most..they're too creepy. Them and maggots. *shrudders*
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Postby Holly » Tue Mar 30, 2004 11:10 pm

Classic urban legend. I'm impressed by them. They prey on social paranoia and live for generations without major changes (that one dates back to the 1800's, and then it was some explorer eating exotic native cuisine). Man, if I could make an urban legend, I could die a happy sponge.

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Postby Spaced Ape » Wed Mar 31, 2004 12:07 am

the eggs would die when they cook the tacos (my cousin works there and they cook em so shaddup)
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Postby Amy18048 » Wed Mar 31, 2004 12:40 pm

New (Ghost Legends) New!!!!!

A story about crazy Annie!

The story went something like this -- Crazy Annie was a mad hermit who lived in a house deep in the woods. She would attack people who trespassed on her land with an ax.

One day, locals had had enough and they burned down her house.

Here the story changed depending on who was telling it. Either she survived the fire, badly burned, and continues to stick close to the ruins of her house, attacking people with her ax, or she died and her ghosts roams the woods near her house, attacking people with the ax.

Either way, the story went on that campers and hikers who became lost in the woods sometimes stumbled onto her property and were never seen again.
Last edited by Amy18048 on Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby maki » Wed Mar 31, 2004 1:21 pm

that was sick... but an interesting story i have read it before. i also read that it didnt hapen but was started after a book was written in which close to the same think happend.

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Postby Spaced Ape » Wed Mar 31, 2004 1:57 pm

.....I have never thought of doing that....thanks!
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Postby maki » Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:12 pm

i thought about starting an urban legend once. i even had one made up, but i thought it was a little to... lets say messed up.
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Postby Spaced Ape » Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:12 pm

give it to us
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