GJtehR stuff

Post your artwork, photographs, poems, links to your flashwork, etc. here.

Moderators: HeRetiK, The inner Core

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

GJtehR stuff

Postby dot. » Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:53 pm

Well - Here's a few things I've written. . .More to come.



Hold Me Sane (Dreams Do Have Claws)

I guess that I could call me crazy
I showed you everything about me
And you said you'd hold me sane
(You said you'd hold me sane)
Now you're in my dreams for life
I lied and said they went away
You said you'd hold me sane
(Hold me sane?)

Here's Hello to the clouds of smoke
The dopey smiles, the puff, the choke
The feeling you passed to me to feel
The dreams that I thought could be real
(Dreams with claws, fur, and teeth)
Just a dream

I guess that I could say I'm crazy
I don't believe in nightmares
Somehow you taught me they were dreams with claws
Claws - oh how they tear
You said you'd hold me
You said you'd hold me
(Why do I dream of you letting go?)
Hold me sane

I guess that I could call me crazy
Take a bullet for me somehow I laughed
But only on the inside; I can't believe I ever cried
Can't believe I ever woke in sweat and tears
(Hold me sane?)
You said you'd hold me!
(Why do the dream claws tear?)
You said you'd hold me!
Sssssaaannnnneee


And here's hello to the notes we wrote
The feel good smiles and my self-destructive poems
The things I swore I'd never say
The things I never did
And a hello for the cardboard box
Where those things will forever lie

You said you'd hold me, You said you'd hold me
Why do I dream of you letting go?
Why do the dreams have claws?
I don't believe in f***ing nightmares
You said you'd hold me sane!
You said, you said, You told me!
Then f***ing hold me!


Here's Hello to the clouds of smoke
The dopey smiles, the puff, the choke
The things in you I found weren't real
The dreams that I was taught were real
The dreams with claws and fur and teeth
You said it was just a dream

Don't hold me


EDIT: I was listening to Tool's Sober when I wrote this, and it just poured out. Imagine it with this Disturbed meets Tool meets Slipknot vibe, with an array of vocals. Soft at first, growling for the "you said you'd hold me" parts. A strong, bitter voice for the chorus. . .And there you have it!



-----------------------------------
Don't look now, because time just might be whizzing by
And if you turn that head of yours
He might become a little jealous
Time has fingers like hooks
To keep us on track
He never really lets go, but he'll let you feign freedom.

He just might, if he catches you
With your eyes on his prize
Stab a finger into the jelly of that eye
Hold it fast, forcing it to view
All the little things that slowly die
And then, so will you.

Time is truely jealous
See how he ruins wisdom?
Look on the faces of our old. .
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
Spaced Ape
Grand Poo-bah of Syn's fat ass
Posts: 8862
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 12:57 am
Location: Milky Way Galaxy
Contact:

Postby Spaced Ape » Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:01 pm

I like it.

That's saying something.
Is there a promised land
Or am I on the journey going to nowhere?
Are the streets paved with gold
Or am I slipping on the mold that slowly grows there?
DevilDriver - Monsters of the Deep

User avatar
HeRetiK
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 7931
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 7:50 pm
Location: yurop
Contact:

Postby HeRetiK » Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:12 pm

I love sober. And you've written some decent poetry. Dark, but not the sort of dark that is so cliché that it hurts. Also I can somehow relate to it.

And yes, if Eschatos says that he likes something, it really is saying something.

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:24 pm

Thanks - Nice to hear some serious comments, too. I usually just get a "nice" or "good".

I'll throw in some of my drawings and the like eventually.
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
obskewer
divine
divine
Posts: 2554
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 4:25 am
Location: Nowhere visible

Postby obskewer » Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:41 pm

It's good. I like the tone, how it portrays the pieces theme so well. Wording is adequate, but could be better. Good job.

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:59 pm

t3h MoB wrote:It's good. I like the tone, how it portrays the pieces theme so well. Wording is adequate, but could be better. Good job.


Adequate? I'm always looking to improve. Suggestions?



And here's a couple old things - Not any masterpieces or anything, but I like them.

Tis be a fractal that I call "Star no Star" (Yus, after the Jack Off JIll Song. Sue me.)

And here's this odd gooofy random trippy-ish genie and a lamp type thingy. I started drawin lines, addin colors, no clue what I intended to come out. Thus, Magic Carpet Ride was born.


Not alla my art is music based. Actually, I think these are the only two that I have.
I've got one hand in my pocket

Voly
divine
divine
Posts: 8107
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:57 am
Location: Ahead of the curve
Contact:

Postby Voly » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:53 pm

I like the Magic Carpet Ride picture. Very surreal. Do more.


That's an order.

[And I'm just about as new as you, so I really don't expect you to do what I say... so... it's not an order anymore. Just a suggestion.]
Astica wrote:That's probably the wankiest thing I've heard all day.

Elen wrote:If they were just bickering about politics, instead of indulging ERQ's passive-aggressive, self-aggrandizing fuckassery, then I wouldn't have a problem with it.

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Thu Nov 29, 2007 6:55 pm

Haha - I don't take orders from anyone, regardless of seniority. There's more stuff in my DA gallery though, but that's the only thing I can think of that is that brightly colored.

My computer went dead right after I got into my color happy phase, so I couldn't upload more of my stuff. (I'm on a school comp)


Mr. Happy Blue

annnnd

The original Mr. Happy.

It was for a friends cover for a cd, but we had some issues so I never cleaned it up and finished it. I messed around with the scan of the sketch just to see what I could come up with.

Old poem, but the temp's dropping around here and I remembered it.

Snow

Oh, it's so cold here
and each step on the frozen ground
is like treading so gingerly on glass
But I don't care

The sky is so frozen
so clear
so beautiful
I love winter

My feet may become cracked
they may bleed
they may freeze
But I will continue on
This discovery of nature at it's best
Will not go unfinished

This memory is a snapshot
an old photograph of what once has been
Little girls in white nightgowns
prancing about in the cold
not caring for comfort
not caring about anything
but the winter beauty
the winter snow
I've got one hand in my pocket

Voly
divine
divine
Posts: 8107
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:57 am
Location: Ahead of the curve
Contact:

Postby Voly » Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:59 am

I'm really not a fan of the colorful stuff, I just liked that one because it was surreal. Some of my favorite art is surreal. Dali was amazing. I liked the dude's mustache too.
Astica wrote:That's probably the wankiest thing I've heard all day.

Elen wrote:If they were just bickering about politics, instead of indulging ERQ's passive-aggressive, self-aggrandizing fuckassery, then I wouldn't have a problem with it.

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:28 pm

VoluntaryOutcasts wrote:I'm really not a fan of the colorful stuff, I just liked that one because it was surreal. Some of my favorite art is surreal. Dali was amazing. I liked the dude's mustache too.


Ahh - I see. And yus, Dali was amazing. My favorite painting by him is The Persistence of Memory.
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
obskewer
divine
divine
Posts: 2554
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 4:25 am
Location: Nowhere visible

Postby obskewer » Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:21 am

girljacktheripper wrote:Snow

Oh, it's so cold here
and each step on the frozen ground
is like treading so gingerly on glass
But I don't care

I like that verse.


girljacktheripper wrote:My feet may become cracked
they may bleed
they may freeze
But I will continue on
This discovery of nature at it's best
Will not go unfinished


That had a bit of a jingle to it.

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Mon Dec 10, 2007 5:36 pm

I think it's time to remember

Paradise

Time to think about the blissful, the sane
Time to forget about the elusive
The impaired silence between the seconds as they tick
Away

(I used to think paradise was an island
Childlike I was, full of wonder
Now I see that it's just a taunting phase
Someone rescue me?)

I think it's time to remember

Paradise

Time to remember what hope feels like
Time to forget the pain
The things that you feel when dreams fall
And oh, how they fall

(Like so many of mine have fell
I've learned to stop dreaming
Paradise is nowhere now, not even in a dream
But who needs it?)

Why don't you just remember?
Paradise wasn't so long ago
It was there when you sat on the rooftops
Watching the sun fall from the sky

(Paradise is just the fool's way to survive
Hoping every day for change
Hoping for every day to stay the same)
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
obskewer
divine
divine
Posts: 2554
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 4:25 am
Location: Nowhere visible

Postby obskewer » Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:25 pm

This poem I liked alot more. It was reminiscent, but neither quite positive or negative. And there is a very clear message at the end.

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Wed Dec 12, 2007 8:16 pm

Thanks!


These are two that have gotten me well. . .interesting feedback.






Would it scare you if I told you
That I'd like to tie you down
And that I'd
Like to slowly creep towards you
Hand and foot on the ground
And would it scare you if I told you
That I dream of you & me & your
Devilish smile, in my every fantasy

Even girls have those dirty dreams. .
Even girls watch those porno movies. .
Even girls close their eyes and sigh and picture some guys naked while they're checking out their ass

Even girls have fantasies.

Would it scare you if I told you
The other parts to this dream of mine
See, I'm lighting these long dark tapered candles
And sliding towads you with a sadistic smile
And I'm shedding all my clothes for you
Leaving nothing but leather, skin and bone
And the look of pain and pleasure on your face
As the hot wax runs down and around, well, you know where this is going. . .
But would it scare you?

Even girls have those dirty dreams. .
Even girls watch those porno movies. .
Even girls close their eyes and sigh and picture some guys naked while they're checking out their ass

Even girls have fantasies.


Would it scare you?

Would it scare you if I told you
That I'd like to hear you beg and moan and ask me to stop
And would you be afraid if I told you
That I'd like to do to you things you have yet to even dream about
Would it scare you if I came to you late at night
With a pair of cold steel handcuffs and some strange glinting foreign object?


Even girls have those dirty dreams. .
Even girls watch those porno movies. .
Even girls close their eyes and sigh and picture some guys naked while they're checking out their ass

Even girls have fantasies.

Would you love me more, or would you be afraid?
I'm breaking out of your closet with my best friend
We're both dressed like those french maids
From your favorite hard-core porno
I know all about your feather fetish

Would it scare you if I told you
That I'd like nothing more than to be chased
And slapped around a little
And that I'd ask you for a little pain
There's so much fun when you role play

Would it frighten you baby? Would you run away?

Scaring you would be so much fun. . .

Would it scare you if I told you. . .







-----------------------------------------------
Buttons, you deftly open
Yet it's a mile till you get there
A long sweet hour until you
Hit the spot
Touching so gently
Sweetly
Lips come to mine
Liquid glass I am
You've melted me
With strokes to glass me
That threaten to break
I urge those hands on
From liquid glass to earthly fire
First softly
Then faster
Harder
Everything's all fire now
And I am the flames
I'm eager to beg, writhing
You're eager to please
As glass hips lurch forward
To the timing of a hand aflame
A moan comes
Response of a glass neck
To a fire mouth
Which moves on, seamlessly to chest
Breasts
Heart
Lingering,
And then
The heart breaks
Because I've opened my eyes
And that fire's not lit
Earth mouth, gone to ashes
Dream cracking into black
They weren't your hands
Where are you. . .?


Sigh
I should try to get some sleep. . .
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Wed May 07, 2008 4:17 pm

"amoraphobia"
Think. Think Hard.
Remember. Imagine. Think!
You knew what to say last night,
All alone, and in your head;
Said it all to your pillow, to the clock,
Even to the ceiling.
What happened?
Those easily spoke words are gone.
Is it fear? Are you selfish?
Those words don't belong to you,
They belong to him,
Set everything Free!
Think. Speak. Slowly.
Don't choke!
Set his mind at ease.
A few soft words would make him understand
You know he'd understand
If only he knew how hard it was to speak. . .
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Mon Oct 27, 2008 2:44 pm

First thing I've written in. . . Iunno. . .Months.

Feedback appreciated!

There’s something about headlights; cold, crisp, and clean
Two frigid fairies crossing the dark.
It’s a lonliness untold, Am I the only one?
Standing here, feeling this, tasting the chill?
Fairies wash over me, pause and hesitate
Orbs and cigarettes make patterns in the air
In the air, in the fog and the mist, evidence
A softly pulsing cloud over the lake.
Pulsing. Creeping. Crawling from it’s hole,
Moving toward the houses to overtake them.
I hide, though the fairy parade is mindless
Mindful only of the frozen black.
I move to the lake, silent, watching,
Focused like the fairies in my journey
I try to move quickly, the eerie beauty calls
In my haste I stumble over a mass of fading warmth
The night gets colder, chill crawling through my skin
Digging in, seeping through , setting in
I move on, more warmth, take a peek?
No, never, freeze those eyes shut
If I look back, I know I’ll see open eyes
Blinking, reflecting light, reflecting sky
And the curling smoke of one still lit cigarette
Eyes frozen for the first, and the next, and the next
Finally I’m cold enough to look
I’ve lost count of the slowly chilling warmths
Body shaped warmths.
They say the worlds grow thin on Halloween.


--------------
I woke up at 4 am, went outside with the intention of smoking a cigarette and going back to sleep. I saw a car coming, and the play of the light through the trees on the mist of the pond and the smoke was very. . .inspirational.
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
Spaced Ape
Grand Poo-bah of Syn's fat ass
Posts: 8862
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 12:57 am
Location: Milky Way Galaxy
Contact:

Postby Spaced Ape » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:00 pm

I think you have a future in literary arts.
Is there a promised land

Or am I on the journey going to nowhere?

Are the streets paved with gold

Or am I slipping on the mold that slowly grows there?

DevilDriver - Monsters of the Deep

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:05 pm

Ooh - Doubtful.

But appreciated. Thanks.
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
Spaced Ape
Grand Poo-bah of Syn's fat ass
Posts: 8862
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 12:57 am
Location: Milky Way Galaxy
Contact:

Postby Spaced Ape » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:06 pm

Doubtful? Why? Poetry sucks anyway, but you're good at it.
Is there a promised land

Or am I on the journey going to nowhere?

Are the streets paved with gold

Or am I slipping on the mold that slowly grows there?

DevilDriver - Monsters of the Deep

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:23 pm

Haha, thanks. But I'm too lazy too do anything with it except dress up copies and give them to friends.
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
Spaced Ape
Grand Poo-bah of Syn's fat ass
Posts: 8862
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 12:57 am
Location: Milky Way Galaxy
Contact:

Postby Spaced Ape » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:24 pm

Well I'm glad you have a hobby that you're good at and able to share with others. Keep at it! 8)
Is there a promised land

Or am I on the journey going to nowhere?

Are the streets paved with gold

Or am I slipping on the mold that slowly grows there?

DevilDriver - Monsters of the Deep

User avatar
Ragdoll Bob
divine
divine
Posts: 4079
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:00 am
Location: Ragdolling through the universe like a, um, ragdoll thing.

Postby Ragdoll Bob » Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:11 pm

Wow.

Usually, I'll read a fellow student's poetry and make it through one or two before I set it down and don't look at it again, but you got me to read every poem on this page.

You've got some real talent on your hands, I must say. I don't think a single piece was "perfect" - but a "perfect" piece repulses me akin to a horrible one. Perfection in poetry implies - at least to me - a complete match to form and rhyme and rhythm. When I read poetry, I like the author to put focus on the emotions and depth of the piece, even when it requires sacrificing "perfection."

That's what I see here, and that's why I say this is a damn good page of poetry.

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:30 pm

Haha - thanks a lot!
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:15 am

urgh.
Last edited by dot. on Fri Sep 04, 2009 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I've got one hand in my pocket

User avatar
dot.
divine
divine
Posts: 1624
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:26 pm
Location: Louisiana
Contact:

Postby dot. » Fri Nov 14, 2008 3:35 am

Image

Image

Image

Taken with a cell phone.
I've got one hand in my pocket


Return to “Art & Creativity”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest