Postby CorvusMortem » Wed Aug 17, 2005 1:44 am
Hello everyone, as you all know, I'm private Dexter Grif from the popular web series, Red vs. Blue.
And as always, I'm private Dick Simmons.
Grif: As many of you are no doubt aware, this flu season has been particularly harsh, even here in Bloodgulch.
Simmons: During the winter months, disease can spread like a virus, *shows picture of gingerbread man labled virus and gingerbread suitcase labled disease* and we all know, a virus can carry disease.
Grif: And with all the crazy new diseases out there, like SARS and scarlet fever, you might not even know you're sick until you begin coughing from the stench of your own rotting flesh.
Simmons: Here to help you look for early warning signs of the flu, is medical officer DuFram
DuFram: Thanks guys! Hi everybody, here are some common flu symtoms to look for this season. *shows list of symtoms: Fever, Runny Nose, Watery Eyes, Excess Phalanges, The Cleavland Brows, Bingo Anxiety, Trapper Johns, Horseplay, Gruntitude, Other Stuff* Fever, runny nose, watery eyes, embarrising itchy places, projectile vomiting, fear of abandonment, apocolyptic visions, evi-
Grif: Woah, woah, woah! Did you say evil?
Simmons: Yeah, those aren't flu symptoms.
DuFram: Guys, trust me. I'm a doctor.
Simmons: No you're not! You just play one on the internet.
DuFram: Signs your condition could be getting worse include but aren't limited to *shows list: Inexplicable Honking, Profuse Lumpiness, Unhappy Orifice, "The Mangler", Anchor Hands, TonyDanzaphobia, Insideoutness, Softballs, Lack of Fatigue, Etceteras* Night blindness, hysterical screaming, manical laughing, bolting and of course, excessing nuber three.
Grif: EEEW!
Caboose (standing on a cliff above the rest): I had all of those things. *whispers* I was very sick.
Simmons: No, you didn't Cabosse.
Grif: No, it's true! Caboose got Asian Bird Flu!
Simmons: What?! How is that possible?! Doesn't Asian Bird Flu only infect birds?
Grif: Somehow, he found a way.
Caboose: I...am feeling much better now. And...I can fly. *jumps off cliff* I am FLYYYYING!!! *thud* Ow. The sky is very hard...
Caboose is an idiot. But super strong. He is my hero.
I am Iren
I am God
No. No I'm not
Well, at least I'm pretty damn close...
Nope, not really...
-.-